Adameus First Note To Lavinia

Dearest Lavinia;

It is I; your mud-bespattered friend. I write this letter because I know that the journey we are about to take may be fraught with peril and there are things I wish to be said should I never have the chance again. There was much I wanted to say the other day – much I had been prepared to say – but I lost my courage. So, cowardly though it may be, I commit my mind and heart to this page – this page that may outlive me; I know not.

There are very few who know my story. That is partially because few would care to listen, but it is also because I am loath to be judged for it. Yet, with what you know of me, you never judged me. Your eyes have looked on me with a kindness I have never known – a kindness that has somehow seen beyond the wall of rank and pierced my veil of shadow.

I come from darkness, not just in name. The greatest tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love. Love; what a word -one word that frees us of all the weight and pain in life. Until recently, I had no knowledge of it; nothing to lose. I’ve seen your heart break from such loss and I understand now, the shadow is lifted – Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own. I find my happiness irrevocably tied to yours.

Other men say they have seen angels; I have seen you and that is enough. To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven. I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for their religion. I have shuddered at the though. I shudder no more. I could be martyred for my religion. Love is my religion and I could die for that. I could die for you.

But the greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they are alive.

There. If tomorrow never comes, it is said. No response is required.

The most precious possession that ever comes to a man in this world is a woman’s heart. Love is, above all, the gift of oneself, yet it is a gift that cannot be sought; only dreamed, and in dreams there are no impossibilities. You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.